I Can’t Stand The Chaos And Clutter


So Yesterday I freaked out! Why? Well, I have been living in this room of chaos I call my bedroom and blaming it on the fact that it’s that time of year again – exam time. Well, enough is enough. Last night I repacked my closet, not only that, and I am giving away about 60% of my clothes too. And now my closet looks empty – well almost empty. I am even getting rid of some shoes. Ouch, it hurts to say those words out loud. I love my shoes and never thought that I would get rid of them, but it was time.

Today, I also started going through old boxes (boxes that haven’t been unpacked since my last move). Today I am parting with many of my childhood toys. Can anyone believe that I still have them? One thing I am keeping is most of my Barbie collection. When I was a little girl I promised myself that I would keep my Barbies for my daughter one day – I now realise how ridiculous that promise was but I figure, I got this far so why throw them away now.

I also found my ‘memory boxes’ from primary school and high school. I barely even looked through them. I threw them away! I started going through them and realised that I have no idea what the little things that i had put in them remind me of anymore. My high school box was mainly filled with letters and photographs. I took the photographs and foreign currency out and threw the rest away without even looking at the letters again.

A part of me says I’m crazy, and a part of me just doesn’t care about that part of my life anymore. The fact that I can let go of all those memories (good and bad) amazes me. I have never been able to do so in the past. I have always held onto every memory as if remembering it will help me stay in touch with something that is now gone. Well, I realised today that I am starting to let go of those memories without realising it. I am also ashamed to say that I forgot a promise one of my best friends and I made when we were in primary school. I think it had something to do with 21, but can’t really remember what that was. I am almost dead sure that I remembered two years ago.

I wonder, does everyone start to forget things at a certain point or does one consciously/subconsciously have to make a decision to do this? If so, why is this happening now in my life?


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