So there I was, sitting in front of my computer staring at a blank document and a pulsing cursor. Staring at the black and white screen in front of me. I was a nine-year-old little girl trying to write a book.
That’s where it all started. That’s where my dream came from. I even remember my first story (how crazy is that?) but it seemed to have been a monumental time in my life.
I loved English and creative writing at school and I even went and studied English Lit with majors in TESOL and editing. And then… I started my own dance studio. That’s right, I didn’t go into writing unless you can count monthly informative newsletters to parents as writing?
I have asked myself so many times why I chose that path and I have a few answers. The dance studio kind of opened itself. The studio where I taught closed down and at the time it’s what I knew, it was my comfort zone so I challenged myself in starting my own company.
That was my excuse number 1 for not starting to write and become a published novelist. That’s right, an excuse. Because at the end of the day that’s what we do is make excuses. We make excuses to try and validate ourselves.
And then big reason number 2 is self-doubt. Am I good enough? I don’t think I could ever do it. Where would I even start? What if people don’t like my writing? Does any of this sound familiar? Yes? Well then keep reading.
That little shitty voice in the back of your mind should go screw itself. That little guy shouting “Come on, you could never do this” is wrong! And it’s your duty to show your inner voice this and to show the world you can do what you want to do. You are everything you want to be.
The biggest way to get over yourself is to just get over yourself. You need to shut that voice down and start to believe in yourself. Start by treating yourself as you would treat someone you really like, on a first date. Put yourself on a pedestal for a while and see what comes from it. Now don’t get a big head and become full of yourself. Stay real. But stay real to the people around you and most importantly to yourself.
So I want you to take yourself on a date. Be it a walk in the park, a movie, a coffee or lunch. Just you, and you alone. Make sure you have a notebook and pen on hand. And then ask yourself this one question.
What do I want?
Answer this question. Write down anything that comes to mind. It’s not an easy question to answer, but the answer is worth it. You are worth it.